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How would you guys ask someone out at their work? Martial arts class. Stack Exchange network consists of 181 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers. How to reinitiate conversations online with stranger taking long to answer my mail. I have a boyfriend. Well, the tricky thing about asking out someone in a customer service position is that their job requires them to be nice to you. She thought they got along OK and that he seemed interested, but he never asked her out. I am a fairly attractive, personable guy and have been asked out by several customers over the years, and its never been a problem. Youre visualizing a very specific scenario, where youre being asked out in a very nonthreatening way, presumably by having a woman express interest in you, which doesnt happen so much in a culture that discourages women from doing this. And there's the factor that when men are hurt, they sometimes hurt back. I have been investigating my ability to search for past posts. My band is playing at the Speakeasy Thursday night and it'll be our first performance all year. And for what its worth, having been a barista and worked at Target, there really wasnt any appreciable difference between being asked out and being hit on. >:(. I guess you will soon find out if she answers e.g. How To Read Offense In Madden 21? They do it every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm - the admission fee is 5 Euro. Please think very carefully about about out a retail employee. For me, this was the least offensive way someone ever 'shopped' for me, because due to professionalism I could just ignore it. I have to say, I feel bad for the pressure being put on men for the whole asking someone out thing because that was the first and ONLY time I have ever asked a guy out and I got rejected. It sounds to me like OP is being very conscientious about the situation. He was 20 and I was 32. That was 8 years ago. Although again, sadly, he still might have a GF. Until you have a stronger feeling. Its awkward. Nothing high pressure, just hey call me if you want to get coffee. We hung out a few times, then both moved away from the area but were still friendly now. Book club. Learning how to read the defense, Al Haitham Genshin is 8 years old. I think it can be ok if you do it very carefully. At the time, it didnt seem safe to tell a random stranger my sexual orientation- especially when my co-workers didnt even know (long story, that..). Ask We went on a couple of dates, but that was it. If you put someone in an awkward position by asking them out when you arent really sure if theyre interested, then you probably shouldnt be mandating (even in your head) how they are to respond. At any rate, I dont want to do anything to make him uncomfortable, and if things go awry then Ill most likely try to avoid him or stop shopping at this place altogether, which would be really inconvenient, so would really appreciate your advice. Bustle And the corn guy had his own business. Asking while she is serving you as an employee violates empowered because she is effectively cornered: she can't step away, she has to serve you. *Setting aside the whole discussion about what is and isnt not creepy or inappropriate. Its all too a single woman should be accompanied at all times when out in public 191o for me. But I can admit to having a thing for ONE of my customers, so I cant say it never happened. Do you have personal experience where you successfully use this technic? When I was newly single (and loving it) after an early, long marriage, I ended up chatting regularly with a nice and nice-looking young man who worked in the produce department of my usual grocery store. I had to go back to the store later that week to pick something up. It would be fun to run into you there. Hi. Dont put him on the spot by forcing him to balance customer service with a romantic overture its unfair to him. In a different life I might have chatted with her more than I did. Ill remain concerned that if a trend of two people people meeting public and getting to know each other has become zomg dangerous and exploitative, and dont know how yall are going to make it through. Unless we want to rely on eHarmony to produce the next generation, you have to take advantage of opportunities that present in the real world. You could try asking them out if you happened to run into them outside of work, however, they know who you are so it still makes it awkward if you go back to where they work. The employee feels panicked and caught between a rock and a hard place, like he may not be able to turn the customer down without pulling down the wrath of management, and what had been a friendly encounter now turns into a recurring nauseating anxiety. I was watching the whole scene unfold and he was trying his best to extend his little chat with her by just grasping at whatever topic he could think of in this sheepish, gigglish tone, and her simple responses back to him without breaking a smile, while also ringing out my items. Express low-key interest in seeing the person outside of work, give your card/number, and make it clear through your words and actions that you can happily take no for an answer. This guys comfort level has been a huge concern of mine. Positive body language like dancing with excitement and enthusiasm helps convey your intentions clearly. Im sick of this and I dont have to take it! One reason why you hear more and more complaints from women in retail is precisely because they are empowered, not because, as you seem to be implying, that we are all a bunch of fragile, frigid, special snowflakes who want to criminalize all interactions between men and women. Whatever you do don't follow them after work into the parking lot. After the date has ended, be sure to follow up with your date by sending them a text or calling them; this will show that you are interested and care about them. Try a man cashier. I agree with Alison: its not no no no never never never but one must be exquisitely aware of the context, which means an almost never thing. There's a strong bias against guys bothering random girls in shops with requests for dates (speaking from experience). She said shes there to work, not to get hit on or asked out. I generally agree that it is usually best not to ask people out at work. However, it has happened from time-to-time. Having been on the receiving isn't found by making her uncomfortable. I realized Im just one data point, but I am actually friends with many people who Ive met through work. What people are saying, is to be aware of the power differential, be aware that the person you are asking out may be in a situation where their behavior is constrained, be considerate of the other persons situation, dont take advantage. Super cute girl at a gas station I go to a lot. Mutual friend. should I even consider interviewing somewhere else if Im happy with my job. Girl has a boyfriend but says shes in love with both of us! And a friend of Ilenes another pediatrician really liked the farmer who sold his sweet corn at the farmers market. At one library where I worked, we were actually told to stop wearing our nametags because there was so much of this. JovanHuttonPulitzer #SaveAmericaFromSocialism on Twitter: So I wouldnt just give a blanket no as advice. It sounds like hes just good at being a retail employee. Fair chance you'll get a "Oh, I'll put it up for you" or "We don't have one, but I'll put it in the staff break room". Trust me on this, its not good.. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The "honey" and "dear' is a southern thing. Casually go her way, drop something or try to create a natural interaction, then start conversation. Knowing how to read the defense is key to succeeding in this virtual gridiron world. Asking a cashier out is not always an easy prospect. Well whats some do's and dont's. Thanks for contributing an answer to Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange! If she did say "no" or not respond, after that interaction as you continue to go to the market, just behave casually as you normally would and if you go through her line be polite and friendly but with no expectations. When she did, the man then ran behind her and hit her in the back of the head with a closed fist, seriously injuring her. I worked retail all through college and I never really had anyone ask me out (apparently Im the exception based on these comments?) WebHow To Ask A Cashier Out? Probably about a 95% chance she either is already partnered or not looking, for some good reasons you can't override. Please have some respect and let me have my JOB as a safe space! It was more of a problem dealing with the guys that worked nearby and shoppers in public areas. concert). When I saw your name The IT Crowd was the first thing I thought of! Short story about swapping bodies as a job; the person who hires the main character misuses his body. Women should never go to an unfamiliar mans private address. A phone number may be voluntarily given later, but should be asked for by saying "hey, I'd like to stay in touch with you" and let her choose out of the variety of contact methods that exist today. Sometimes the entire queue could stop and simply have a collective chat with the shopkeeper about some random thing, such as the weather, and such spontaneous conversations take place frequently. I also made sure none of his co-workers or any customers were nearby. So it didnt seem as creepy as when patrons would say you have a really beautiful smile. Which I do, but dont want to hear from a stranger. however, my friend (who works in retail) asked out a barista who she had a crush on. As a woman, Im also flattered when Im politely asked out, even though I do not accept the invitations (Im married). I wanted to ask her out or leave a note but last couple times I get super nervous when I'm about to do it. All of my long term relationships have come from mutual friends or activity groups. Thats sad. And as others have mentioned, it's very easy to misinterpret her general customer service skill as "signals" of something else which she didn't intend. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. I actually thought the OP might be a man. An awkward situation she is placed in repeatedly by men, through no doing of her own and with no way to prevent it, due to their sex drives. Both scenarios happened to me multiple times and it was always uncomfortable and always put me in an intensely awkward situation. This was an attractive chick asking about his day, a little more than the usual perfunctory interaction. WebAnswer (1 of 7): At the Drive thru window, this happened to me many a time & the one luxury I suppose was that they could just speed off in their car afterwards (or I could shut the window). If theyre creepy, weird, or not someone Id be interested in getting to know better, theres an easy out. Try to give them lots of room to reject your offer without feeling pressured to say yes. But at the same time Dude, shes trying to do her job, and youre kind of holding her up. is it unprofessional to get a tattoo on a work trip? Re 2, though, if you dont know them, surely it is ONLY sexual? Thanks gsa, Im actually not really comfortable asking someone out, and then there is the whole customer/employee dynamic, but it sounds like Im going to have to be the one to make a move so thanks for the reinforcement! A: Be direct and sincere when asking the cashier out. Citation please Im genuinely interested in this, Studies have actually found that men are just as capable as women at understanding nonverbal communication/soft nos. This is exactly what I was coming here to post. Thanks, this was something that Id been considering too! Please dont hit on the poor schmuck who has to be nice to you or get fired. To clarify, I was talking about adult students, but still. Its this: Be very well dressed and be well groomed. after coffee. Seriously, how do you ask out a cute cashier (F) without being "that That context is something that men need to be aware of when deciding its ok to flirt with a woman in a particular situation-which I think is what you were getting at. That complicates the process of turning you down if they don't want to date you. That is a requirement of the principle of safe -- which also applies to you. I dont think its a horrendous crime to ask someone out, I just remember wishing (as a former waitress) that people would just let me bring them their food instead of assuming were friends now because weve been interacting for 8 minutes in my place of work. I like the low pressure approach. If she wants you to ask her out, she'll make clear signals that you won't have to post on the internet for help interpreting. This is why I always do coffee or something comparably simple/safe (so not dinner, movies, etc.) One creative way to ask out a cashier is through lindy hop dancing. 1) I was a girl and that was enough to get comments I wouldnt necessarily invite someone Id met in this compartmentalized way to my home. If he say, Oh, rats! The more you think about it the more chance you have of acting like a creeper lol. An intelligent woman shouldnt have a problem meeting a prescreened stranger in a public place without having to take friends a family on the date. You should try it sometime. so if said gentleman wishes to run into you outside of work he would have a pretty good idea of how to do so. WebCashier responsibilities include receiving payments and issuing receipts, gift-wrapping packages and keeping track of all cash and credit transactions. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. If youre 99.9% certain about letting him know youre interested, then fpostes wording is the way to go. Its how our brains are wired up. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. It has to be something any random girl would find enjoyable all by itself even if you weren't involved. Frankly, lots of social interactions make me feel a little weird or uncomfortable, but theyre totally normal and acceptable interactions nonetheless, and I dont think my discomfort always reflects negatively on the people doing the initiating. Needless to say, I got hit on a LOT. . I worked a lot of retail jobs during middle school, high school, and college, and its unbelievable how many people misinterpret someone being polite and friendly as flirting. Playing offense in Madden 21 takes skill, strategy and knowledge. We didnt mean anything by it, it was just a way to break up the tedium. Now, Im 100% sure this guy would have been an awesome date, and there was nothing threatening or creepy about his approach in fact, if I had any glimmer of interest in men in general, I probably would have taken him up on it. I got hit on more in 6 or 8 months there than I have in the rest of my life put together. Meh. Anyway. I think, for women especially, there is also the matter of fatigue. It shows a level of awareness that not everyone seems to possess in these situations. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. As several others already have replied - it depends where you are and the (as yet) unknown chemistry between you and the cashier. Im not going to say to absolutely not do it, but I recommend asking him out somewhere other than his job if you see him elsewhere. And I am interested in this person is not exactly placing the Objective Viewpoint Ray on high beams in illuminating whether the nice person at the store is, in fact, genuinely interested. Yes, it was a common interest, but I also had a certain number of reservations and sales I needed to make. It was actually terrifying wondering if hed show up again. WebIf a cashier asks out a customer, its easier for the customer to shop at another store or time. That is classic. Show interest and respect, compliment the cashier, and then invite them out. The customer may never know if the employee wasnt interested or just couldnt make it, which can be tough, but it also means the customer cant take it personally. How To Restart Mission Rdr2? But my biggest problem is I'm pretty shy with people I don't know and I'm really worried about being "that guy". As a guy, I dont worry about the woman attacking me or anything but I do think about getting robbed by someone else hiding at her place. And I have a boyfriend doesnt even slow down most of these guys. My older sister took a bank teller job when I was in my early teens and I recall her complaining of guys hitting on her simply because she was pleasant in manner and appearance. And its so true; it can be tricky to know if someone just really likes corn or really likes you. I don't like asking people out at their workplace, it's her job to be there, I don't want to make it awkward. My base presumption is the OP is generally comfortably asking a person out. Anyway. Since you're not asking if you should or not but HOW you should ask her then I'd suggest you to try to ask her something like "Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to have a coffee/drink with me sometimes ?".

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